After my book was just about ready for printing, I was reminded - “This collection is great when you are working with the group. But what if someone wants to work alone? Can we have guiding reflective questions for each story?” Uh, oh. The very question that got me stuck very early on in this endeavor! Let me explain.... Story-telling and story-writing are pretty similar yet very different.
In writing, and in the subsequent printed word, there is a necessary, unavoidable frozenness of form. In telling, you are freed to provide very different emphasis or timing, in response to your spoken, or even unspoken, dialog with each audience. So the individual or group collaborates in shaping the nuances of the telling, the outcome and learning as much as the teller does.
When using a story with a group or with an individual, the Teller plus Group, or the Therapist/Coach plus Individual creates a ‘Field’.
This Field is like no other; it cannot be replicated even if the Teller/Therapist/Coach stays the same person. I have even experienced a slight change in Field working with the very same group when it meets at different times.
In fact, a sensitive teller will take a lot of care to choose a specific story for a group or for a person.
And it is magical to find that this choice will surface an issue, a search for meaning, or even an insightful direction for so many of the listeners.
I am cautious about providing Reflective Questions on each story here. Because, first of all, they may not be the reflection your own lifespace or journey needs at this moment. In fact, my belief is that it could, at times, interfere with your inherent capacity for insightful learning.
Levels and our Nurturance Needs
Also, each story has so many levels which can be said to be based on what I term a person’s current ‘nurturance need’. All are valid and useful.
One very simple delineation considers these levels as that of of simple listening to words (we can call this a ‘physical’ level, and it is very enjoyable, and sometimes that’s all we need at the moment), or listening through the emotions (sensing, intuiting), or through the intellect (more analytic), or at a deep spiritual level. Or a mix of all four.
On different days or times, you may be open to different levels in accordance with your own current nurturance needs. A question pitched at a level that is not relevant to you is of no real use to you. You need to rely more on the Wise One within you for guidance.
So here - rather than a set of frozen questions for each story - I would like to give you some suggestions to get the most out of the stories in this book (or any other book of stories). And I’ll also include some broad ‘lead-in’ questions you can work with.
My suggestions
Select one story at a time to work with. However, if you’d like to first read all stories at one go, do that, but then if you choose to work at the level of Personal Growth, work with just one story at a time. It’s good to ‘be’ with your story for as long as you feel you need to before you move to another. And you also know you can come back to a story as often as you like.
There is no ‘right’ order, though I have used my own order preference. If you need to do it differently, just flip through the book, settling on a title or a line of text that intrigues you, and go with that story.
The quotes before each story are from writers who truly understand the transformative power of story and so they can be stand-alone meditations/reflections.
There is a blank page after each story for notes. I find it useful, when I work with a story, to note down and date my insights, and again to note down and date further insights - either deepening or even changing ones - whenever I visit the story again.
I was taught as a child never ever to scribble in a printed book, and like many of you, sometimes longed to do just that. Now that I am a grown up child with my own book - it’s so good for me to be able provide you with some scribble or drawing space! If you still find this hard, you can use loose sheets or a notebook to record your learnings.
Something very important to be aware of is this: a story offers up insights and meanings when you respect it, not when you make efforts to impose your will on it.
Be gentle and patient with the story, and particularly, be gentle and patient with yourself. Working with story is not about telling you what is wrong with you - quite the contrary. Story helps you look at some facet of your life to reflect on, and move higher up the levels of insight, consciousness and personal growth.
Some very general reflective questions that work as triggers for reflection could be:
• Why this story at this moment in my life?
• Where has this shown up before/is showing up now for me?
• What parts of me are in characters in the
story, or in other parts of the story? (landscape, mood)
• What challenges/changes does the story
point to or demand?
• What questions does my mind/heart want
to ask just now? (these are really important; perhaps more so than answers)
• What image/picture comes to mind ? (and draw it right away; this is not the time to be at all judgemental of your artistic talent or lack of it!!)
• Go to the quote at the start of the story you just worked with ... Is there some insight when you read it now? (Sometimes there can be a connection; there does not always have to be. But do this only after you have thoroughly worked with your own insights, writing and drawing for the actual story, otherwise you are trying to force a meaning and this is not helpful.)
May you find ways to hear the story love the story, live the story.
Marguerite Theophil
Uniting Heaven and Earth: The Transfomative Power of Story has been re-issued by Vasu and Nisha Dulani’s
OCEAN BOOKS as Turtle Tales for Personal Growth. The proceeds from the sale of these books
support WEAVE’s various educational projects. If you are interested, please send a message to weave@vsnl.net and we can send you ordering details.
In writing, and in the subsequent printed word, there is a necessary, unavoidable frozenness of form. In telling, you are freed to provide very different emphasis or timing, in response to your spoken, or even unspoken, dialog with each audience. So the individual or group collaborates in shaping the nuances of the telling, the outcome and learning as much as the teller does.
When using a story with a group or with an individual, the Teller plus Group, or the Therapist/Coach plus Individual creates a ‘Field’.
This Field is like no other; it cannot be replicated even if the Teller/Therapist/Coach stays the same person. I have even experienced a slight change in Field working with the very same group when it meets at different times.
In fact, a sensitive teller will take a lot of care to choose a specific story for a group or for a person.
And it is magical to find that this choice will surface an issue, a search for meaning, or even an insightful direction for so many of the listeners.
I am cautious about providing Reflective Questions on each story here. Because, first of all, they may not be the reflection your own lifespace or journey needs at this moment. In fact, my belief is that it could, at times, interfere with your inherent capacity for insightful learning.
Levels and our Nurturance Needs
Also, each story has so many levels which can be said to be based on what I term a person’s current ‘nurturance need’. All are valid and useful.
One very simple delineation considers these levels as that of of simple listening to words (we can call this a ‘physical’ level, and it is very enjoyable, and sometimes that’s all we need at the moment), or listening through the emotions (sensing, intuiting), or through the intellect (more analytic), or at a deep spiritual level. Or a mix of all four.
On different days or times, you may be open to different levels in accordance with your own current nurturance needs. A question pitched at a level that is not relevant to you is of no real use to you. You need to rely more on the Wise One within you for guidance.
So here - rather than a set of frozen questions for each story - I would like to give you some suggestions to get the most out of the stories in this book (or any other book of stories). And I’ll also include some broad ‘lead-in’ questions you can work with.
My suggestions
Select one story at a time to work with. However, if you’d like to first read all stories at one go, do that, but then if you choose to work at the level of Personal Growth, work with just one story at a time. It’s good to ‘be’ with your story for as long as you feel you need to before you move to another. And you also know you can come back to a story as often as you like.
There is no ‘right’ order, though I have used my own order preference. If you need to do it differently, just flip through the book, settling on a title or a line of text that intrigues you, and go with that story.
The quotes before each story are from writers who truly understand the transformative power of story and so they can be stand-alone meditations/reflections.
There is a blank page after each story for notes. I find it useful, when I work with a story, to note down and date my insights, and again to note down and date further insights - either deepening or even changing ones - whenever I visit the story again.
I was taught as a child never ever to scribble in a printed book, and like many of you, sometimes longed to do just that. Now that I am a grown up child with my own book - it’s so good for me to be able provide you with some scribble or drawing space! If you still find this hard, you can use loose sheets or a notebook to record your learnings.
Something very important to be aware of is this: a story offers up insights and meanings when you respect it, not when you make efforts to impose your will on it.
Be gentle and patient with the story, and particularly, be gentle and patient with yourself. Working with story is not about telling you what is wrong with you - quite the contrary. Story helps you look at some facet of your life to reflect on, and move higher up the levels of insight, consciousness and personal growth.
Some very general reflective questions that work as triggers for reflection could be:
• Why this story at this moment in my life?
• Where has this shown up before/is showing up now for me?
• What parts of me are in characters in the
story, or in other parts of the story? (landscape, mood)
• What challenges/changes does the story
point to or demand?
• What questions does my mind/heart want
to ask just now? (these are really important; perhaps more so than answers)
• What image/picture comes to mind ? (and draw it right away; this is not the time to be at all judgemental of your artistic talent or lack of it!!)
• Go to the quote at the start of the story you just worked with ... Is there some insight when you read it now? (Sometimes there can be a connection; there does not always have to be. But do this only after you have thoroughly worked with your own insights, writing and drawing for the actual story, otherwise you are trying to force a meaning and this is not helpful.)
May you find ways to hear the story love the story, live the story.
Marguerite Theophil
Uniting Heaven and Earth: The Transfomative Power of Story has been re-issued by Vasu and Nisha Dulani’s
OCEAN BOOKS as Turtle Tales for Personal Growth. The proceeds from the sale of these books
support WEAVE’s various educational projects. If you are interested, please send a message to weave@vsnl.net and we can send you ordering details.
SOAKED IN STORY
In Sufi circles,
it is customary for students
to soak themselves in stories,
so that the internal dimensions
may be unlocked
by the teaching master
as and when the candidate
is judged ready for
the experiences which they bring.
~ Idries Shah, TALES OF THE DERVISHES
